Born to Embrace It...

I’m leaving Rwanda today. Since I really can’t find a way to explain how i’m feeling right now, i’m just going to tell you what i’m going to miss about this place, in no particular order:

• the weather. it’s perfect here. sunny and beautiful and breezy and warm. but never too hot. i love it. 
• the sound of the nuns singing at Domus Pacis every morning and at random times throughout the day.
• the sounds of Kigali while we sleep. the crazy parties and concerts going on at night, the annoying birds chirping in the morning. we leave our windows open for air and you can hear everything. i’ve gotten so used to it that i don’t know how i’ll go back to the quiet sounds of air conditioners and fans. 
• the Amos family. they welcomed us into their home countless times and made us feel completely at home. we played with their kids (Pete, Jude, and Lily), Rebecca filled our comfort food cravings, Heath constantly encouraged the work we were doing and we always looked forward to the time we got to spend with this sweet family. 
• dancing and drumming with the kids at Ivuka Arts.
• walking. I love seeing the same people on the street and hearing the kids playing and seeing the road next to our school being constructed. i feel like a part of this community when i’m walking around Kicukiro.
• church. church here is a party. in english or kinyarwanda or french. its always an experience.
• the sky. its bigger in Africa. i’m convinced. 
• riding on motos. if you asked me 9 weeks ago in america to go ride on the back of a motorcycle, i would have laughed in your face. but i do it multiple times a day here. and i can’t get enough. its so much fun and you feel so free and you see the city in such a different way. i don’t know when the next time i’ll ride one is and that fact is fairly hard to accept.
• the peace house boys. they have the biggest hearts and are so much fun to be around. i love listening to music with them and playing uno and listening to them laugh. when i said goodbye to eve, he told me “i will pray for you everyday”. i’ve never met any teenage boys like these and i probably never will again. 
• dirty feet. they’re pretty gross the majority of the time here. we walk all over the place on dirt roads in chacos. but it shows what we’ve done. i have a chaco tan line that i’m pretty sure is half “dirt line”. 
• being a regular. i know that 2 months is a very short time to live somewhere compared to ex-pats and missionaries that are here for years. but 2 months is long enough to be a regular somewhere. at our favorite restaurants and coffee shops. at the local markets. 
• Aline. she works at the guesthouse here. she’s made it very clear that she isn’t a nun. but she’s hilarious. she comes up behind us and scares us. and whispers funny things in our ears. she attempts to learn english and teaches us kinyarwanda. and she facebook stalks like a pro. and she tells us how much she loves us and will miss us everyday. 
• having custom made clothes. theres 2 markets here that i’ve had clothes made at. its so much fun to pick out fabric and design something with my wonderful friends Josephine at Kimironko Market and Grace and the women at the Widows Market. i’ll cherish these things not only because of how awesome they look, but because of the memories of spending time with these women. 
• the relationships. i’ve built so many relationships here and its been such a blessing. with the other travelers, the other americans and ex-pats, and with so many rwandans.   which is making leaving so much harder. its not just saying goodbye to an awesome experience, its saying goodbye to such dear friends. 
• my students. i’ve heard many teachers say that you never forget your first students. these are mine, they’ll always be what i think about when i think of my first class. and i’m so grateful for it. 
• which brings me to the last point. hearing “teacher sarah” wherever i go. its followed  me all over kigali and i savor it every time i hear one of my precious kids saying it, yelling it, whispering it, chanting it. its the best thing i’ve ever heard, especially when combined with running full speed and tackling me with a hug. i really can’t explain how much these kids have impacted me or how much i love them. they’re amazing and i’m so blessed to have been a part of their story for a short time. 

We’ve had another huge transition here with AfricaReads in the last week. Last friday was our last day with our students. It was a really difficult day for me. Our last 2 groups finished teaching and then left 2 days later. We were still going to be here for 2 weeks, seeing our kids around school and Kicukiro. It was hard to explain that we weren’t going to be their teachers anymore, but we were going to still be around and wouldn’t leave for America for 2 weeks. Our first class of the day was one of the classes that i’ve had for the whole 7 weeks that we taught. The kids had heard “the speech” twice before and knew what it meant. So when I started saying how much I loved them and how intelligent they all were… my girls started bawling. Full out sobbing into their hands. So of course I started crying. It was a rough morning. One of my youngest boys in that class was crying so hard and wouldn’t even look at me. So for the next 5 classes, we went a different direction, telling them first that they would still see us around school and  that they should come play with us during their break, but that we wouldn’t be their teachers anymore. Still sad, but no more sobbing, so it was a drastic improvement on the morning. 

These last two weeks, during the mornings we work with our teachers. I was so nervous about how this was going to go. One on one english conversation with the teachers whose classes we invaded is very different than singing and dancing with 4th graders. But this first week was amazing. I loved getting to know them on a personal level and just chat about Rwandan and American culture and whatever other questions that they’ve had. In the afternoons, we work with groups of secondary students. Ali and I partnered up and were given 15 S2 students. Which puts them between 15 and 17 years old. Petrified. Thats how I would describe how we felt walking into that classroom the first day. We didn’t really have a plan. We were just supposed to help them with their conversation skills. So the first day didn’t go well. They were quiet and reserved, and were too shy to answer with more than one word when we asked questions. So day 2 Ali and I adapted. Ali took the 8 girls and I took all 7 boys. Seven 15-17 year old Rwandan boys. And it was amazing. We had so much fun talking about American culture and sports and music and they were so much more willing to talk. And then when we came back together with the girls, everyone was so comfortable! I’m so excited about this next week, these boys that i’m working with are so genuine and great and their questions about what girls in America wear are hilarious. But they sing me church songs and tell me about the girls that they want to marry and I know that i’m going to have a really hard time leaving them at the end of the week. 

July 4th is a big deal here. Obviously not because of American Independence, but because of liberation from the genocide. July 4th, 1991 is when the RPF came into Kigali and took the city, pushing out the interhamwe who were committing the genocide. It is called Liberation Day here. So we had no school on Wednesday. AfricaReads is partners with a group here in Rwanda called ATN. There are multiple American missionary families that are part of this team that have been very gracious and welcoming to us in our time in Kigali. Yesterday, they had a good old fashioned July 4th barbeque. It was amazing. There was red, white, and blue everywhere. We had face painting, played baseball, played games with the kids, sang every patriotic song that i’ve ever heard (including Proud to be an American) and watched a movie on a projector out under the stars. And we ate. So much food. I can’t even describe the sheer amount of food that was on that buffet table. And it was all American food!! Hot dogs, barbeque pork, potato salad, coleslaw, pringles, cheetos, fruit salad, cookies, brownies, strawberry rhubarb cobbler…. so good. I ate at least 3 times more than I should have. But it was worth it. It was great to be around people that have come to be like our family here.

So I went gorilla tracking. Yup. Im still trying to figure out how I get to do all these amazing things! Here’s the rundown of my amazing day:

Scheduled to leave at 4:30 on Saturday morning. Woke up to Peggy saying “SARAH ITS 4:17!!! WAKE UP!!” Good start. 

Left at 4:40 with our driver innocent and my fellow trackers Peggy, Elizabeth, and Mark. 

Drove 2 hours through what we decided were the windiest roads in the world. Scenery was beautiful though. Rwanda’s amazing.

Stopped in Musanze to pick up sandwiches and have a bathroom break. Then continued to Kinigi to meet up with the official trackers and other group members. 

Watched some traditional tribal dancing. Picked up a billion brochures. Drank some tea. Put on our “gaters”. Met our awesome guide Augustine and our other group members. We had three really nice South Africans. More on how awesome they were later. 

Found out we would be tracking the Umubano group. Learned about the different members of this family and the silverback Charles. Started freaking out a bit. 

Drove another 30 minutes through what we decided were the bumpiest roads to get to the base of the volcano we would be climbing… once again… my life is ridiculous. The volcanoes were beautiful. There are 6 of them in this area. All dormant. At that time in the morning, the tops were completely covered by the mist. 

Began the hike. Now mark say’s that it was probably only 1/4 of a mile. Whatever. It was still the hardest thing i’ve ever done. In Kigali we’re already at the elevation of Denver. Then we drove up to the volcanoes. Then we hiked straight up. Breathing became difficult. We used hiking poles and walking sticks and basically had a train of pulling each other up this volcano. This is where our amazing group comes in. Our South African friends were wonderful. They were a bit older, but they were super helpful and we definitely became a team on the way up. Everyone helping everyone. 

We then reached the trackers. These guys are always up there keeping an eye on the families. Making sure they’re safe and not being poached, and keeping tabs of where they are for the groups that come. We left our poles and bags at this point and began legitimately tracking some gorillas. When we spotted our first, I may have freaked out a bit. Silently of course. 

I really can’t explain the next hour of my life. They were all right there. We were within feet of wild gorillas. One actually walked behind Peggy and I and touched us. I’m pretty sure someone got a picture of our faces. We were basically hyperventilating. We saw babies playing and the Charles the silverback chilling and eating some leaves. The similarities to humans was crazy. They play and eat and sit like us. And the family dynamics are so like ours. The way they take care of each other and have relationships with each other. Augustine even explained that sometimes a female gorilla would go to another family to “cheat” on Charles (the dominant male). If she got caught, the family would punish her. And the babies playing were so adorable. They would swing on the vines and push each other and wrestle. All within a few feet of us.

It was an unreal day. Looking through my pictures, I still can’t believe what I got to experience. We all bought t-shirts that say “I tracked mountain gorillas in Rwanda”. Cheesy. But true. I think I bought it really to remind myself that it actually happened. I’m so blessed to be having these crazy experiences here. 

Today has been a weird day. There is a man named Emmanuel who comes around Domus (where we live) often to invite us to church and try to film us for his music video. Today, he finally caught us when we had time, when his camera was working, and when we all had good enough attitudes to be on camera. Mark, Nikka, Bethany, Peggy and I were up first, and stood in front of a wall and swayed to the song while he got extreme close ups of our faces as we tried not to bust out laughing. We eventually haggled Phyllis into joining us, she has her own Emmanuel experiences to share, and sat in a  circle listening to him talk to us while Mark had a great time filming and laughing at our expense. He continued to film us in random places all over the compound, asking for just one more shot. My personal favorite was all of us leaning on a car listening to chris browns “forever” for mood music. Experiences like this make me so grateful for the team that i’m with and the hilarious times that we can have through all of the random stuff that happens to us. 

These last few days really have been strange. There was testing this week that we weren’t aware of. Of course. TIA. (This is Africa) So we didn’t have school wednesday, thursday or friday. We’ve been filling our time with random things, helping out with book sorting, spending time with the Peace House boys, eating bagels. We also got to go to the Mother Teresa Orphanage that is here in Kigali. We had heard great things about it from other groups that had gone, and didn’t think we would get the chance since we’re teaching during their visiting hours. But i’ve gone twice in the last few days, and it has been an experience i’ll never forget. I had never been to an orphanage before, so i won’t lie, the first time that we went, I cried the entire time we were there. From when they opened the first door and I saw all the little beds lined up, to when I had to hand over the little boy that I had been holding. Most of you probably won’t be surprised to hear that. We spent our first visit with the special needs kids, most under the age of 6 or 7. We just held them and giggled with them and tickled them. It was a beautiful experience. At one point, the little boy who I was holding started gently touching my nose and giggling, so I started touching his while I was still crying/giggling/looking like i was crazy. It was wonderful to see that despite what these kids were going through, they had a place with women to love on them and take care of them. I have so much love and respect for the nuns who work there. 

Tomorrow we’re going to see some of the Peace House boys play in a soccer game. And then we’re finally back to school on monday. Its amazing how much I miss my students after 4 days apart. I don’t know how i’m going to deal with it at home. We were talking earlier about how we’re going to have to train the kids we know in America to call us “Teacha!”. So parents, please start working on that now! Love you and thank you for your continued love and support!

So this has been a weird week. So many things have changed now that our second group has come in. First, our teaching schedule is boss. We teach six 40 minute classes a day instead of four 80 minute classes. It is sooooooo much easier. in 80 minutes, its very difficult to keep any childs attention, let alone an african child who usually has no idea what your talking about. In 40 minutes, we get to the point and the kids are seeming to grasp the ideas really well. In P4 (primary 4, the equivalent of 4th grade) we have gotten into more grammar this week. Grammar is hard. Yesterday we taught the students apostrophe. What 8 year old african child knows the word apostrophe??? All 300 of my students, thats who. But they’ve grasped all the concepts really well. They’ve been taught most of this in their “english” classes, but they really have no context for their words since they don’t use it everyday. Regardless, i’m extremely proud of them and of my co teacher Phyllis who is thankfully an 8th grade english teacher. These kids would be doomed otherwise. This week is also different because i’m teaching new groups of students. For the last 3 weeks I taught in Teacher Charles and Teacher Dative’s classes. Those students knew me and I absolutely adored them. For the next 3 weeks however, we’ve had to switch things up. Now I’m teaching in Teacher Dative, Teacher Rosemary and Teacher “I can’t pronounce her name”. Now I’d like to say that I don’t have favorites. But Teacher Charles had this one class…. they were amazing. I love every student that i’ve come in contact with, and i’m so glad that I got to keep Dative’s students and that i’ve added all these knew students, but man. I miss Charles and his kids. Most days I try to run in at the end of their class to sing “Do you love your school?” with them. Thankfully Peggy, who was my partner before, completely understands this need. Traveling with 8 people is significantly easier than with 18. Last night we went to Ivuku arts again, and then to Milles Collines. This has to be one of my favorite days that we do. Yesterday I got to drum at Ivuku. Treasure, my teacher, who is probably 13 years old, said that I was a good student. I’m not going to lie, i’ve fallen in love with it. I’ll probably be finding the biggest drum that I can carry on a plane to bring home. The kids were precious and my baby Casar was there again. We then headed over to Mille Collines. Nothing can compare to an ice cold coke and chicken and fish brochettes after a long day. I’m pretty sure this is going to be an every tuesday tradition, which i’m completely fine with. We’ve been without running water in our rooms for 3 days now. Bucket showers and rationing are fine with us though. Mark went and bought us water to drink, and Eline brings us buckets to use for cleaning up, so its going fine. Apparently theres a group in Kenya that went 10 days without any water, so that gives us some perspective. And then of course, theres our precious students, most of whom have probably never seen an actual shower head, so if we smell a little bad, they probably won’t notice. One of my favorite things here, is realizing just how similar Rwandan and American students are. All of our students have experienced “weddings” in class when we were teaching family vocabulary. This week, one of our concepts is love, and so we decided to bring the wedding back. The giggles that erupt when you make a boy put his arm around a girl are universal. Yesterday we had one student, Paul, who is a bit older than the other kids in his class. He’s definitely a leader, and could probably be a trouble maker, but we got him on our side early. I asked him to pick who he wanted to marry yesterday and the entire class starts pointing to this girl, who at this point is completely hiding under her desk. He just walks over to her and grabs her hand and brings her to the front. This kid is smooth. We had them get married again today just to teach the concept of “they”. I’m pretty sure weddings are going to be happening in my classes as much as I can get away with. This week has been the hardest in terms of homesickness. People have asked me if I wish that I had gone home after 3 weeks. I don’t even have to hesitate when I tell them absolutely not. But if I could figure out a way to get my parents and grandma here, well, I don’t know if i’d ever go back.

So today is a day of transitions. Our team of 18 has dwindled down to 6 as the 3 week-ers left for the states today. We cried. We ate chocolate and pringles. We then realized that we are still so blessed to be in Rwanda and we need to make the most of the short time that we have left. We pick up 2 new team members tonight to bring our total to 8 for the next 3 weeks. Our teaching schedule and teams are also changing, but in a great way that gives us a 3 hour break in the middle of the day for naps and going out to lunch :) I still can’t believe that i’m not even halfway through my time in Rwanda! It’s so exciting to think about all the amazing experiences that i’ve yet to have. For example: I just signed up to go gorilla tracking near the volcanoes in west Rwanda. Yes. Gorilla Tracking. My life is unreal.  There are 3 places in the world where you can do this, so its literally going to be a once in a life time experience and I absolutely can’t wait! 

And of course. There’s always the fact that i’ll get to stay with my precious kids for 6 more weeks. On friday they had a goodbye ceremony for the leaving teachers, and I was bawling. So I’m anticipating that someones going to have to drag me onto a plane in 6 weeks. Either that or my family should be expecting at least 3 suitcases of Rwandan children coming home with me. I’m sure Grandma will have some cookies ready. But seriously, I love my kids so much and I can’t wait to continue to build relationships with them and see their adorable little brains grow! 

We had some really fun experiences this week. We went to Ivuku Arts again and spent some more time with the dancers and women making beads. We also went to our friend Joel’s house for dinner and traditional Rwandan dancing :) Joel is such a precious person and has been such a blessing to all of us. We also had some highschoolers and teachers from GACS (Greater Atlanta Christian School) with us this week which added some much needed energy to the classroom and to our home at Domus Pacis! 

Sorry this is such a long one, but it’s been a while since i’ve updated! Also, the title is a tribute to our Boys II Men jam session during lunch today. I miss and love you all and am thankful for your continued support!

Every morning, as soon as I hear the students say “Good Morning Teacher Sarah”, all exhaustion, frustration, and worry is pushed to the back of my mind, and the students smiling faces are all that I see. This morning was no different, I was so tired and hadn’t slept well and was still feeling the emotion of going to the genocide memorial yesterday, but as soon as I saw my students, I remembered why i’m here. I’m here to build relationships, i’m here to encourage those shining students, i’m here to help build a stronger future for the kids and for Rwanda. We got to see another example of this idea of looking to the future this afternoon. Our entire group went to visit Ivuku Arts, which is an art studio with painting, dancing, drumming, and jewelry making. We watched some students dance, learned how to make paper beads, and I spent a majority of my time holding a precious little boy. It was so encouraging to see a group of people working together to better their community and their future. We went from Ivuku Arts to Hotel des Mille Collines, which is where the movie Hotel Rwanda took place. We sat by the pool and ate dinner and I couldn’t help of thinking of all of the people who had taken refuge in this place. To be able to see the past and the future side by side this afternoon really helped us to see Rwanda as a whole, to see what has shaped who they are, and what they want for their future.

One week down. One week of living in africa. One week of teaching 4 lessons a day. One week of exhaustion and emotion and fun and work. I still have to stop and remind myself, that i’m actually in Rwanda right now. It’s been a gradual realization that i’m going to be spending my summer here. My biggest a-ha moment actually came tonight. We were leaving a market and decided that it was time for us to take a “moto” back to our home. Motos are taxi-motorcycle/scooters basically. They wear vests to show that they’re professional drivers and you just hop on. Please take a minute to picture me riding on the back of a motorcycle through Kigali. It was ridiculous, but it was Africa. It was the best way to see the city and it was such a rush! 

Classes went well this week. There were ups and downs, and it was pretty much a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I felt like I was really connecting and getting through to the kids, and other moments I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to handle this for 9 weeks. But every day that i’m here I feel more and more like i’m supposed to be here. Every time we sing our closing song for the class, I know that this experience has already changed me and will continue to change me, and that I just need to let it happen! 

Also… “Do you love your school?” is a song that we sing with the kids! We say “Do you love your school? Do you love your school?” and the students say “Yes! I love my school” and then “I-I-I love my school”. It involves dancing and gets extremely loud and our whole group will probably be singing it for the rest of our lives!